Just what could you achieve?
Do you lack the confidence to take on a new challenge?
Ever wondered how those “he’s so, she’s so confident” types do it?
Do you want to stop holding yourself back and move forward with more oomph?
Are you missing out on exciting opportunities due to a lack of confidence in yourself or your abilities?
Small Steps Towards A More Confident You.
I recently attended a 1 day seminar and during the coffee break I got talking to a lovely guy who said that he wished he had the confidence and ability to perform and present like the guest speaker we’d just seen. He certainly had the ability and expertise, as was demonstrated by our lengthy conversation, but he just lacked the confidence and experience.
I knew exactly what he meant. For some people it’s an enjoyable and invigorating experience to be able to stand in front of an audience, whether that be 2, 200 or 2000 people, impart your knowledge, share your experience and inspire people to succeed so that they get what they want.
For 95 % of the UK population that’s not the case. This post isn’t about how to become a confident public speaker, but it is about helping you discover 5 amazing tips and techniques that will give you more confidence in tackling the challenges you face.
Maybe you need more confidence for an upcoming job interview, perhaps you’d like to seize a new opportunity or maybe, achieving more at work is high on your agenda.
If you are taking on a new personal or professional challenge, the techniques I’m about to share with you will certainly set you off in the right direction on your quest for achieving more confidence. So please delve in and have a go. With preparation, practice and a few extra skills at your disposal you can throw yourself into any new challenge with a bit more oomph than you perhaps have right now.
If you think, feel and rehearse a role, event or occasion before it happens, it can give you an inner strength and confidence you never knew was there.
Tip#1 Who do you want to be?
Lets take a leaf out of an actor’s book (or should I say script!). How is it that some actors can be so confident and convincing? Its because they take on the persona, mannerisms, personality and traits of the character they are playing and rehearse it over and over again. Some look feel and act the part so well and are so convincing, that when out of character in the real world, they’re heckled on the street for playing a cheating wife, abusive husband, murder suspect, thief, liar,bitch!
“chiilll…I was only acting”
So why not call upon your inner thespian every now and again and give yourself the boost you need to achieve what you want?
- Describe the person you want to be.
- What are the primary characteristics?
- How can you look, feel and think like them?
- Describe them in as much detail as possible.
- Think about the mannerisms, the behavior, what they might say about themselves and others. What do they know that you don’t know? Who is this character like? If you had to model yourself on this person who is it?
Decide who you want to be and how you want to be. Borrow the traits you find useful and assume the role.
I’m not saying this is going to be easy, but once you have decided who you want to be and how you want to be, you need to act the part and practice. It doesn’t have to be a complete personality overhaul, it may be just a subtle shift in the way you think, feel and behave.
The more you practice the easier it becomes and the more comfortable you will become with the state you want to be in. Eventually it will become so natural your brain will no longer resist what your body is telling it to do. You will get used to your newly acquired characteristics and be able to call upon them when you need them.
Tip#2 Dress The Part
We all know how clothes make us feel. Sometimes you feel fantastic other times you look in the mirror and say “ errhh let’s try again.”
What you wear has a huge impact on how you look, feel and behave. On the one hand they can make you feel incredibly confident, smart and engaging, on the other, completely out of place and uncomfortable.
You can play the part of confidence far more effectively if you’re wearing the right gear. You’ll find it easier to take on the persona,( be that expert gardener or Royal wedding guest) and project yourself with more confidence and authenticity, secure in the knowledge you look the part.
Tip#3 Don’t Mix With Monkeys If You Want To Be A Lion
You’ve probably heard the stories of small animals being placed in the care of a completely different species and taking on the mannerisms and characteristics of the adoptive parent. So the same is true here, surround yourself with like minded people. The ones who have the knowledge, skills, characteristics and traits of the person you want to be and who have the skills and experience you want to learn.
Observe what they say, how they behave, the way they interact. How do they look? What’s their stance like? Observe what they wear, what sort of personality they exude. Take the bits you like and add them to your character.
Tip#4 Act as if …
When I first started to run workshops and do talks, before i even arrived in the room I acted as if it were brilliant. In my mind everyone was having a great time , I acted as if I’d done it a million times before. I acted as if I was confident, knowledgeable and in control, I acted as if I knew it was running to time and everything was covered, I acted as if I wanted to share every ounce of info I had with the participants on the day. I acted like I was enjoying it too. And guess what? It wasn’t acting at all because all of the above happened, the day was a great success and the feedback was brilliant.
So use your physiology to give the impression of a confident person, during times you come up against a major challenge, crisis or unexpected turn of events. Stand, sit and walk tall, with your shoulders back and convey the impression that you are in complete control.
Tip#5 Tap in to your confidence anchors
- When was the last time you felt really confident?
- What were you saying, doing and wearing at this time?
- How were you standing or sitting and how was your posture ?
- How did you feel?
- Make a list below of how you think feel and act when you’re at your absolute best. Break down what really works for you and replicate these thoughts, feelings and behaviors when you need them most.
When at my best I am ….
Go on…. you finish it off. I want at list of at least 10 (if not more) of your super confident traits!
Be who you want to be and if it helps…
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!
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